Man, do you know what? I've gone from rarely allowing a picture of myself to be taken to using the camera timer to take loads of pictures of myself or spending a full day with Chloe (My Second Attempt) walking around Manchester and taking pics of ourselves. I wouldn't say that this change was completely organic, it was mostly because I wanted to post more fashion-based content on my Instagram and blog, but it's been an unexpectedly healthy change for me! Seeing images of myself online (eg. when a family member catches you unawares and you end up getting notified by Facebook that you've been tagged in a hideous image) used to be my worst nightmare. I didn't want people to see my body, the weird way I stand, my nose and generally my self. However, when you're taking pictures with a purpose and you get to pose a few different ways, have fun with the process of taking the pictures, and then muddle them into your Insta feed, it becomes more of a fun and creative process rather than a horrible 'oh god untag me' kind of experience. It still doesn't quite come naturally to me to take lots of pics of myself but I have a little strategy to deal with the body-image based nerves.


Focus on the outfit, not the body

When getting ready to take blog pictures, thinking about what outfit to showcase (or alternatively what makeup to wear) is the first priority. In recent years I've changed my thinking from 'dress for your size' to 'wear what looks good as an outfit' which has helped my confidence quite a bit. When I had the 'dress for your size' ethos, I would cover myself in baggy clothes which swamped my figure and ended up making me look unshapely and left me feeling massive. I still love baggy pieces, but I wear them with better-fitting pieces so that I'm at least showing some of my actual body shape. When I focus more on the clothes and the outfit itself, rather than the body I'm dressing, it gets me excited to put the outfit together and share it.


Focus on the picture, not the body

When in front of the camera it's super easy to want to find ways to hide your body and your figure, so I have decided to push thoughts of my body to the back of my mind (when I can) and to think of ways I can pose to make the picture or clothes look better. For example, taking photos from a low angle wouldn't be the most flattering, but the picture itself would look nice with the blue sky in the background. If I'm wearing funky sleeves, I think of ways I can show them off. If I find a mural, I find a way that I can interact with it in the picture. Thoughts like this pull my focus away from my body while I take the pictures.



Oh wait, that looks good 

Going through a load of pictures of yourself can get very mundane and I end up deleting the majority of the pictures I take or are taken of me. However, those that make the cut have passed my tremendous scrutiny, they're decent pictures. They show the outfit well enough, the pose worked, the lighting is decent. It's a good photo. Liking a picture of myself is a good feeling, and I feel like we all need a few good pictures of ourselves. Plus it's nice to have a new profile pic or a new picture for the grid on Instagram!


Oh wait, my body looks good

The more I look at the nicer pictures of myself, the more I look at the way my body looks and the things I used to hate about myself I've learned to start to love. Seeing pictures in clothes that hug my curves reinforces the fact that a lot of the time (when I'm not having issues with my body-image) my curves make me feel good. I feel soft and kind of cute. Learning to enjoy pictures of myself has helped me in my attempts to learn to love my kind of plus-size body, the tummy that won't go away no matter how much I diet, the nose I used to be teased for, the large thighs, and the bum that I used to think was just too massive.

A mindset I have fallen into as of late is the idea of the 'hustle'. This is the idea that you have to not only work hard to achieve your goals, but to work constantly on 15,000 projects and side projects in order to be successful and that the quantity of what you can accomplish will show everyone how on top of things you are (or how employable you are in my pre-graduation case). Hustle culture prioritises long hours of work instead of shorter, more focussed hours. According to an article on the Forbes website, 12 to 15 hour work days are being seen as a badge of honour and lots of companies are perpetuating the ideals of this mentality. I've even seen it in job descriptions on my job hunt, especially in companies in which you can earn commission on top of your salary. "Be prepared to not leave the office until you've completed every single one of your goals, even if that means staying for several hours after the working day is done".

I was at an event where I was mixing with a bunch of A Level students and telling them all about uni life and what to expect when a girl approached me looking like she had a pretty serious question to ask me. We sat to the side and I told her to ask me anything, and she told me that she was worried that everyone else around her seemed to know what they wanted to do post-graduation, even though they hadn't even begun their degrees. "Is it bad that I don't know what to do after education? When will I absolutely need to know?" She's not even in uni yet and she's already worried and anxious about finishing her degree. Here's the response I gave her and the advice I want to share on here with you.

It's okay to go into something not knowing the outcome

Taking risks or stepping out of your comfort zone will help you to figure out what you can and can't do well and what you do or don't enjoy. This even applies to choosing a degree subject or a job. It isn't a case of 'choose this and stick with it forever' and you won't know you enjoy it unless you give it a go. Some people around me have switched degrees and others have stuck with theirs. Some people have gone into a job thinking they would hate it and ended up loving it, others have had the opposite happen to them. A lot of what we do is trial and error, and you won't know whether something works for you unless you give it a try.

We all change our minds 

The chances are that a lot of the people around you who are completely certain of what they want to do will end up changing their minds. As a psychology student, I started out wanting to work as a forensic psychologist and now i'm going into marketing as my career of choice. I have a friend who started out wanting to be a clinical psychologist and now she's set to become a teacher. Some people change their minds later in life and leave their long-time career to pursue something new. Nothing is set and nobody's plans are set. The fact that you don't have a plan will change before you know it, and then your new plan can change too.

University will introduce you to new avenues you hadn't even considered before

Don't have a plan now? You probably will have one after some time in university. Try out all sorts of new things in university. It's the best place to do this! Join societies, get involved and take up opportunities even if you're unsure of whether they are for you. I decided to volunteer as a Welcome Hero at the start of my second year, which basically meant that throughout freshers' week I accompanied new students on trips around the area, I volunteered at the freshers' fair, and I spent a lot of time standing outside the Students' Union with a big arrow pointing people to events. I loved the buzz of Welcome Week so much that when the opportunity for a summer internship involving preparations for Welcome Week came up, I applied straight away and ended up getting a paid internship for the whole summer working in marketing for Welcome Week, as well as marketing for other aspects of the uni. I loved it so much that i'm now pursuing marketing as a career, something I hadn't even considered before! To cut a long story short, your 'plan' can come at the most unexpected of times, so just take up opportunities where you see them and you never know what might happen!

Sidenote - taking up these opportunities will also look fab on your CV, whatever you decide to do!

Do you have a plan? How has your plan changed?x

Before I started this blog (over a year ago, wow), I was taking part in blogging of a different kind. I was running a Studyblr, that is, a study blog based on Tumblr. I did this all through college and the first year of my degree and it really was a great way to stay productive! The Studyblr community was the most positive and supportive places on the internet which I have ever experienced, full of people lifting each other up, encouraging one another and sharing their advice. It has been a while since I was a part of that community of people but I want to dive back into it and to show you what you're missing if you're a student who has never heard of it before. I also want to share the other online study communities which I have either found or have been a part of in the hopes that you can find as much joy in this internet space as I have.

Tumblr

Let's start with Studyblr! This is a popular tag on Tumblr and the easiest way to find Studyblr content on the platform. You will immediately stumble upon images of workspaces accompanied by captions logging a day's productivity. I found that a lot of these images gave me ideas for how to lay out my notes, showed me the techniques that other people use to revise, and generally reminded me to set my desk out and get to work! There are also lots of useful how-to guides on topics such as planning, bullet journaling, note-taking, and balancing studies. I could scroll through this tag for hours and hours, although that would defeat the purpose of the tag really!


100 Days of Productivity

One popular challenge that Studyblrs take part in is the 100 Days of Productivity challenge. This is where you take at least one productive action per day and log it on your blog, often as a photo post. I found taking part in this really useful as it held me accountable! I felt that I needed something to post every day, no matter how big or small, and encouraged me to do my best to be productive every single day. It's also really encouraging to see the blogs you follow managing to crush the challenge!

Masterposts

Masterposts are my favourite thing ever! They are a collection of posts or links made into a themed list which you can use to get all the information, advice or templates you could ever need. My favourites are always masterposts which show you all the free printables you can get to plan your study sessions! I love a good printable! Here are a few examples of masterposts:

• Study Music Masterpost by uk-studying
• Important TED Talks by marias-studyblr
• Fundamental Apps by suitestudy
• Study Advice Masterpost by studywithmariana

Friendliness and a full inbox

When I was running my Studyblr account, my inbox was always full of questions, encouragement and generally people open to chat about what we both study. I never experienced a negative message or comment in all the time I was posting! It was refreshing, to say the least! I even got talking to a few people who were deciding which universities to apply for and they were asking me about the university I attend, and it felt good to answer their questions and help them to make their minds up since I remember being in their place and how stressful it was!

Things I picked up from Studyblr

I picked up a lot of tips and tricks from using Studyblr. I refined my notetaking techniques and now I keep everything on Google Drive so that I have my notes to hand anywhere I go. I began using the Pomodoro technique to study and found lots of apps which aid me in my revision sessions. It also got me in the habit of enjoying everyday photography, which definitely transferred to blogging and my social media. I got into bullet journalling, which really helped me to organise my life in the hectic transfer from college to university. Now, I make a to-do list for absolutely every task I approach and it ensures that I never forget to do something.

Tags to use

• Studyblr
• Studyspo
• Bujo - bullet journalling
• Study motivation
• Studying
• Study notes
• 100 days of productivity / 100DOP

(Side note - while writing this I realised that I miss Studyblr so much and should probably set up a new Studyblr, so here it is: jessistrying.tumblr.com)

Instagram

The Instagram study community can be found through the Studygram tag. It is similar to the community on Tumblr as they tend to post images of workspaces in order to log study sessions. There are lots and lots of images of notes with beautiful calligraphy titles. This community is just as positive and encouraging as Studyblr! During my time running a Studygram, I would message with people all over the world talking about how and what we study, as well as just how we were that day! It feels so open and inviting!


Videos

One thing that you can see a lot of on Studygram is timelapses of people studying or note taking. I find these videos strangely relaxing, as well as motivating. I love seeing the notes fill the page and it makes me want to push on and make my own notes. In fact, one trick I used to use to study was taking timelapses so that I couldn't touch my phone as it was recording. I would be left with a time lapse of my study session to look back on and I would get much more done since I couldn't touch my phone!

Tags to use

• Studygram
• Studygramcommunity
• Studycommunity
• Studymotivation
• Studywithme
• Notetaking
• Studytime
• Studying

YouTube

I am less well-versed on the YouTube study community, but I have been looking into it for this post and there is definitely one there! I know of a lot of Studyblrs who have moved across to the platform in order to create more content, and there seems to be a thriving group of 'Studytubers' who are sharing their tips and tricks on YouTube. From bullet journalling videos to university experience videos and study advice videos, there is definitely a lot to explore on this platform!

Study With Me videos

These are the greatest to put on in the background when you are taking notes from a textbook. They are long videos of people studying in real-time, often using the Pomodoro technique and showing when they take their breaks. It's a nice way to time your Pomodoro sessions and it's encouraging to look up from your work and see someone working hard. Not as effective as revising in the university library and looking around at other people stressing as much as you, but it's a good alternative for when you can't make it to the library or just want to revise at your own desk!

Study music

Less of a community, more of a great tool. Study music, especially lo-fi study music, has become somewhat famous on YouTube with thousands tuning into music live streams at any one time. Lofi hip hop radio by Chillhop is such good background noise for your study sessions as it just fades into the background while still sounding great.

Searches to use

• Studytube
• Study with me
• Study tips
• Study music
• Study inspiration

Pinterest

Simply by typing the word 'study' into the Pinterest search bar, you can find lots and lots of helpful posts! As with other platforms, there is a clear theme of note images, calligraphy titles and workspaces, but there is also a treasure trove of advice posts, printables and checklists! The content on Pinterest is less based on a consistent image theme (for most) and more about infographics, advice sharing and offering free printables and tools. I feel like Pinterest is more about practical advice than it is about inspiration.

Searches to use

• Study
• Study tips
• Study notes
• Note taking
• Study habits

Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash

I never thought I would love fitness this much, but here we are! I joined the gym a month ago and I am honestly so proud of myself for pushing myself to go. I have been wanting to join a gym for a couple years now but the idea of working out in front of other people terrified me. I have experienced a lot of anxiety surrounding the way I view my body and my fitness, and I have felt a lot of shame. However, I knew that could only be beaten if I just joined and started working out and working though the fears!

Pushing myself to join

It's kind of like the 'fuck it' philosophy. I had been thinking about joining the gym for forever, but it took one 'fuck it' moment for me to ask a friend where they go and then sign up for my induction. I think that's the best way to do things. There wasn't a massive lead up on the day of me waking up and saying "I'm going to join the gym today", I just did it without thinking too much about it. It worked, I booked my induction for the next morning and told myself that I had to get up and do it.

I was super nervous going into my induction. I had spent too long thinking about going to the gym and then overthinking about all the things that could go wrong. What if people see how unfit I am? What if I fall on the treadmill? What if I break a machine? What if someone finds it funny how little I can lift? But I went to my induction, at 8:30 on a Saturday morning, because I had it booked in so I had to go! The trainer was lovely and informative and I was actually the only one who had turned up to the induction so I got to have a go on almost everything with the guidance of the trainer. By the end of the induction, I felt so much more confident about my choice to join the gym! I felt like I knew the basics and I knew how to use most of the machines with proper form. That was all it took for me to feel fine about going to the gym and working out around others.

Why am I going to the gym?

I've been fine with my appearance lately, and I have worked on my confidence a great deal, so why have I finally decided to join the gym? Surprisingly, it isn't because I want to lose weight and slim down. I just want to feel healthier and stronger! I start every workout with a session of cardio because I have been so sluggish and I have felt so fed up about feeling tired and out of energy all the time. It feels good to get the blood pumping and work up a bit of a sweat! I then move on to weight machines, my favourite part of the gym! I have already seen such a difference in my ability to lift and I am always building up the weight and trying to lift heavier!

How I feel after a month

I am already stronger and fitter! I still hate cardio (like, a lot) but I have surprised myself with how I still push myself to do it! I can be very inconsistent and unmotivated with these things so I'm pretty proud of myself for keeping it up! I have begun to vary my weight workouts a lot more and I have been trying different machines and weight levels. I can see muscle tone in my legs that wasn't there before and my arms are looking a lot more firm and fit!

How I want to progress

Cardio is something I really want to focus on going forward. I want to learn to love cardio, or just to like it even a little. I think I'm going to mix it up rather than getting on the treadmill and then switching to stair-master. I may incorporate rowing machines or even bikes into the mix and see if I find that more enjoyable! I do want to have a session with a personal trainer to check my form and see if I can do anything differently, and I would also like to maybe try out a few classes. Since weight machines are something I enjoy, I may move on to free weights. That part of the gym isn't somewhere I have explored much (since it's always packed and everyone seems to know what they are doing), but I do think it is something I would enjoy!

Do you have any recommendations of apps or workouts which could help me to enjoy cardio? I am all ears! x

Lately, I've been feeling so cluttered. Not only in my surroundings but also in my mind. There is so much going on at once that it can feel so overwhelming and so easy to lose track of what is going on around me. I decided that I needed to have a proper life declutter, both for my surroundings and mind. Here's what I've been doing to tackle all this decluttering!

Digital

I've had most of my digital devices for years, and there has been such a buildup of files and browser bookmarks! On my phone, I have way too many apps which I never use and are just sitting there taking up precious memory. On my laptop, I have deleted a lot of lecture slides from previous years and pretty much cleared out my downloads folder, the source of most of my anguish. I have reorganised the files on my desktop and moved a lot of them to an external hard drive for storage, rather than letting them clog up my laptop. On my phone, I have deleted all the apps that I don't get anything from anymore. These are games that I haven't played in months and apps for media players that I don't watch anything on (eg. NowTV). Now, my desktop and phone are so much clearer and I only keep what I use. It is less stressful finding files and apps and I have freed up tonnes of memory!

I have also done a complete overhaul of my scheduling and general productivity habits. I use Google Calendar for all my planning and scheduling since it's so easy to organise my days into blocks of time and keep track of everything I have planned during the week. I have been storing and creating my files on Google Drive and I have reorganised all my folders in this. I have stopped using the social media that I don't enjoy and I have pretty much simplified all of my digital day-to-day activities.

Clothing

Who else is completely guilty of hoarding clothes that you never wear? I definitely am! However, when I moved to my new flat and I was unpacking my clothes, I realised that I had way too many items that I don't really like or enjoy wearing that much. So as I was unpacking, I bagged up a good portion of my clothes to donate and I also threw away some old tatty underwear. Decluttering your clothes leaves lots of space for new clothes, but I'm on a spending ban so I'm just learning to appreciate the clothes that I have kept a bit more. I am getting more use out of everything I have kept and I feel better about clothes shopping whenever I do decide to treat myself!

Surfaces and surroundings

Clutter. Clutter everywhere! In my old room in my student house, all my surfaces were completely covered and it made my space feel so claustrophobic and messy all the time! I hated it and always blamed it on the fact I didn't have a lot of space in the first place. Nope, I just owned a lot of pointless stuff that was cluttering up my room and making it feel crowded. Now that I have donated and thrown away a lot of stuff that I don't particularly love, my space looks so much tidier and is way easier to clean! I have realised that clutter makes me super stressed and I would rather own less and be tidy than own lots and let all my items completely take over! Now, everything has its place and is neatly stored exactly where I know to find it.

Walls

I loved all the posters on the walls of my student house room! I had so many and they all represented something about me. However, when I was moving and I took them all down, I realised how much I love plainer walls and how much lighter the space became when there wasn't so much covering the walls. In my new place, I have a couple of small items hanging on my wall and three beautiful prints by Jessica Gutteridge. My rooms feel so light and open and I love it!

Products

I own too many skincare products. However, I have not bought any lately and I have been working my way through everything I already own. The box that I use to store my skincare and body care products used to be very full but now it is looking pretty empty and I have been able to try out all the products and figure out what works with my skin best. Not having all those products all over the place has really decluttered my space and I know exactly what to repurchase when my spending ban is over!

Mind

Finally, I have been taking steps to sort through my thoughts and declutter my mind! I have been journalling more again and getting all my pent-up feelings down on paper. It's a weight off my chest and I like to look back through the pages and see how I have progressed into a better place due to counselling, medication and other factors. I have also started exercising more. When I am working out, nothing is on my mind and I am just focussed on the task at hand, which is so refreshing! I am hoping to get back into running next and clear my mind in the outdoors!

Have you been doing any life decluttering lately? x

Let's talk about self care again! Keeping on top of your mental health is incredibly important and it should be incorporated into your day-to-day routines. Even if we don't think about the implications for our mental health, a lot of the activities we already do in the name of self care have really good effects on our mental wellbeing! Here are a few suggestions of ways in which we can take care of our minds on a daily basis!

Body Care + Skincare

Taking the time to take care of yourself physically can work wonders when your mental health is not up to scratch. Just slowing down and doing something that has no purpose other than to make you feel good. This can be done a little everyday, with nice smelling body wash or a really nice cleanser. Something that feels a little pampering in your daily routine. Your nighttime skincare routine is an ample opportunity for this! You can also go out every so often! Do a face mask or hair mask, slather on a lovely body butter or give yourself a hand massage and cuticle pamper!


Sleep Hygiene

We all know that getting enough sleep is incredibly important, but we are almost all guilty of finding several excuses nightly to put it off! Whether it's late night studying, a Netflix session or a really good book, there always seem to be so many excuses for late nights and foggy mornings after too little sleep! Perhaps we can improve our sleep by being a little stricter with ourselves. I could take for hours about the importance of sleep, especially as a psychology student with a massive interest in it, but let's keep it simple! If we don't get enough sleep, we may wake up cranky and this is not the best way to go about our day! By waking up feeling more rested, rejuvenated and ready for the day, we could have a great kick start and go about our days in a better mental space. Set up a nighttime routine to get your body ready for a good rest and to wind down after the day. Take more baths to get into that cosy feeling! Have less screen time in the evening and grab a magazine or a book. Listen to your favourite chilled out music. Get on some ambient lighting. Whatever you do to wind down, make it a solid routine and stick with it. You'll be thanking yourself in the mornings!

Journaling

This is said time and time again, but i'm going to say it again because it's true. Getting your feelings down on paper can be such a good release. While you are writing down what is bothering you or what is happening around you, you are processing it all. You have to think through it purposefully in order to get the words down. I find that when I am journaling, I begin to really look through my issues in a constructive way and I start to come up with solutions or alternative ways of thinking. I then write them down and highlight them so that when I look back at my pages and look through what has been going on, I am immediately drawn to the solutions I have come up with and it reminds me that I can change my thinking.


Date Yourself

Sounds weird but hear me out. Take yourself to nice places. Go and have a solitary coffee somewhere or take a nice walk somewhere pretty. You don't need others to enjoy your time and learning to spend time with yourself and growing to enjoy it can be really mentally strengthening. I am living alone over summer and I genuinely hate my own company, but learning to make plans to go out and do stuff without having someone to meet has been a really nice exercise in self discipline. I have the opportunity to cancel my plans and stay at home in bed without really letting anyone down, but I push myself out of my flat and I end up really enjoying this time out alone. I have been discovering places which I have been waiting to visit with other people and now that I have been, introducing others to these places will be even better because I can show them all my favourite parts of the places!

Breaking Habits

Perhaps one of the best ways to take care of yourself mentally is to break those bad habits of yours. If you think less about breaking habits and more about getting into healthy habits, this will help you to fixate less on the bad habit which you are trying to fix. For example, instead of focusing on breaking my bad eating habits, I have set a goal of cooking proper meals every night and learning to enjoy cooking and learning new recipes. I focus less on getting rid of the bad foods, and more about getting into the habit of cooking good tasting proper meals. It makes it a lot more enjoyable! Here are some of the habits which I am looking to break, and the subsequent habits which I am hoping to build.

• Less screen time
• Get back into reading. Find a new favourite author and work at reading all of their works.
• Less drinking
• Invite friends over for games and food more (as opposed to just inviting people over to drink). You can cook for them whenever you find a really nice new recipe and enjoy the food with them.
• Stop staying up too late and oversleeping
• Fix your bedtime routine and find more nice relaxing hobbies to do before bed. Update your nighttime playlist.

I was laying in bed ready to sleep last night when I was suddenly hit by a number of post ideas. These have been few and far between over the past few weeks so I immediately grabbed my journal and scribbled down any plans I could. In this sudden rush of ideas, I came up with a three-step method for getting motivated. I have no idea where this came from, maybe one of the 'Finding Motivation' courses I took last semester, but it seems to be working! I am on a motivational high today!

Step 1: Assess

Before you start the motivation process, you should first figure out what motivates you and how you gather motivation. Some people are very intrinsically motivated. They are able to motivate themselves with thoughts of goals and future. Their rewards for their motivation are feelings, rather than external factors. They act because they know that they will feel satisfied or accomplished once they have completed their task.

Other people are extrinsically motivated. They act because they want to accomplish something external. They study for grades, not the feeling of achievement. They complete tasks because they want recognition or praise.

Our own 'motivation style' sits on a gradient of extrinsic and extrinsic. If we figure out what motivates us and where we lie on this gradient, we are one step closer to getting motivated.

When assessing your motivation style, you should look at past events. Think about when you have felt motivated and pushed to do something. It could be studying for an exam or picking up a sport. Think about why you did it and how you were able to motivate yourself.

Step 2: Access

Time to access your 'motivation materials'! Apply what you have learned about your own motivation style to how you gather your materials. These all belong in your 'motivation toolkit', which is your arsenal against being demotivated.

If you find that you are intrinsically motivated, focus on things that emphasise this. Find quotes that focus on self-satisfaction and personal development. If you're trying to motivate yourself to study, think about what learning means to you and how you will feel when you improve your own knowledge. If you are thinking about getting fit, think about how it will make you feel healthier and about the positive effect it will have on your wellbeing.

If you are extrinsically motivated, motivating yourself without something to actually work towards can be tough. If you are studying, focus on taking practice tests as you study. Seeing the grades that you attain improve will push you on to keep at it. If you want to get fit, maybe sign up to a marathon or start tracking stats of your workout. You will be working towards something, like being fit enough to have the achievement of running a marathon, or improving a reps number or fastest time.

Gather your motivation materials from many sources and keep them all in your 'motivation toolkit'. It can be physical or mental. Think about your motivation style when choosing what to put on your Pinterest boards or which quotes to write down. Think about your motivational style when choosing your goals to work towards. Keep refreshing your toolkit and adding to it!

Step 3: Success

Congratulations, you are now hopefully more motivated, or at least know more about how to get motivated! Now, go out there and crush your goals!

What do you need to motivate yourself for? x

Planning my summer break is always a fun one for me. I love making plans to better myself and my career prospects while my studies have died down and I have a lot of free time. For the past few years, I have taken on shifts at my various part-time jobs and got together some savings for the following academic year. However, this year I decided to mix it up a bit! I have a list of parts of my life that I want to work on and I have already made plans for all of them.

I was brainstorming for blog ideas this morning and it struck me that I haven't talked about my body confidence and how it has changed and shifted over the years. I also have some advice that I want to share on the subject and also a little bit to say about how getting my first tattoo has affected the way I see my body.


I don't think I really thought about my body shape until high school. In primary school, everyone just got along and I only have good memories from that time in my early life. However, it wasn't the same in high school, which I think is quite common. I was beginning to see, and hear, negatives about my body that I just hadn't considered before. I felt fat and I began to dislike my features. In PE, I felt useless. I was told that I just wasn't trying at sports and needed to get on with it when what I really needed was the encouragement to improve rather than being completely terrified to go to another PE class. Comments were made about my nose being 'massive' and 'huge'. I remember one instance when I was told that I would never find someone who would go out with me unless they were blind.




Towards the end of high school, I obsessed over body image and tried all the home workouts in the world. In time for prom, I had slimmed down quite a bit and felt slightly better about myself that summer. I even wore a bikini once, but I was still pretty terrified and didn't wear it for long! It was the beginning of my on/off relationship with working out and fitness bursts.


College was a bit better in terms of my body image. I was riding the wave of the body positivity movement and I started my first part-time job so I was able to buy all the clothes I wanted to wear and dress exactly how I wanted. Gone were the days of having to wear a school uniform five days a week and then normal clothes twice a week. I was wearing MY clothes five days a week and then a fast food uniform twice a week. Even when I was putting on weight from stress eating during my A-Levels, I still felt super cute. I started experimenting more with makeup and funky clothes and I even cut my hair super short! I felt individual and suddenly my weight didn't seem like my defining feature.