- Lessons Learned is a new series of chatty blog posts where I talk about all the lessons I have learned in adulthood so far which I wish I had learned earlier -

Man, do you know what? I've gone from rarely allowing a picture of myself to be taken to using the camera timer to take loads of pictures of myself or spending a full day with Chloe (My Second Attempt) walking around Manchester and taking pics of ourselves. I wouldn't say that this change was completely organic, it was mostly because I wanted to post more fashion-based content on my Instagram and blog, but it's been an unexpectedly healthy change for me! Seeing images of myself online (eg. when a family member catches you unawares and you end up getting notified by Facebook that you've been tagged in a hideous image) used to be my worst nightmare. I didn't want people to see my body, the weird way I stand, my nose and generally my self. However, when you're taking pictures with a purpose and you get to pose a few different ways, have fun with the process of taking the pictures, and then muddle them into your Insta feed, it becomes more of a fun and creative process rather than a horrible 'oh god untag me' kind of experience. It still doesn't quite come naturally to me to take lots of pics of myself but I have a little strategy to deal with the body-image based nerves.


Focus on the outfit, not the body

When getting ready to take blog pictures, thinking about what outfit to showcase (or alternatively what makeup to wear) is the first priority. In recent years I've changed my thinking from 'dress for your size' to 'wear what looks good as an outfit' which has helped my confidence quite a bit. When I had the 'dress for your size' ethos, I would cover myself in baggy clothes which swamped my figure and ended up making me look unshapely and left me feeling massive. I still love baggy pieces, but I wear them with better-fitting pieces so that I'm at least showing some of my actual body shape. When I focus more on the clothes and the outfit itself, rather than the body I'm dressing, it gets me excited to put the outfit together and share it.


Focus on the picture, not the body

When in front of the camera it's super easy to want to find ways to hide your body and your figure, so I have decided to push thoughts of my body to the back of my mind (when I can) and to think of ways I can pose to make the picture or clothes look better. For example, taking photos from a low angle wouldn't be the most flattering, but the picture itself would look nice with the blue sky in the background. If I'm wearing funky sleeves, I think of ways I can show them off. If I find a mural, I find a way that I can interact with it in the picture. Thoughts like this pull my focus away from my body while I take the pictures.



Oh wait, that looks good 

Going through a load of pictures of yourself can get very mundane and I end up deleting the majority of the pictures I take or are taken of me. However, those that make the cut have passed my tremendous scrutiny, they're decent pictures. They show the outfit well enough, the pose worked, the lighting is decent. It's a good photo. Liking a picture of myself is a good feeling, and I feel like we all need a few good pictures of ourselves. Plus it's nice to have a new profile pic or a new picture for the grid on Instagram!


Oh wait, my body looks good

The more I look at the nicer pictures of myself, the more I look at the way my body looks and the things I used to hate about myself I've learned to start to love. Seeing pictures in clothes that hug my curves reinforces the fact that a lot of the time (when I'm not having issues with my body-image) my curves make me feel good. I feel soft and kind of cute. Learning to enjoy pictures of myself has helped me in my attempts to learn to love my kind of plus-size body, the tummy that won't go away no matter how much I diet, the nose I used to be teased for, the large thighs, and the bum that I used to think was just too massive.

Here's something I never thought I'd say: I'm really into audiobooks at the moment. After multiple tries at enjoying and utilising audiobooks, something has finally stuck and I'm in a routine of using Audible to enrich my day-to-day life. For years people have been telling me that audiobooks are the best way to fit more books into your life but I struggled to pay attention to them if I was listening to a story whilst doing anything else, and struggled to stay awake if I was listening to a story before bed. I didn't think to fit audiobooks into any part of my day other than the end when I was laying in bed. It was a great way to drift off but I'd go to continue the book only to realise that I had missed parts of the story whilst falling asleep. Annoying. Finding parts of my day which allow my mind to wander was a good way of figuring out when to fit in my Audible time since I could focus on the book with little else on my mind. This is where I've managed to fit it in:

When & Where

I hate commuting. Getting the bus to work, walking all the way to university, it's all very boring and pretty much unbearable without my earphones. I hate having nothing to do to occupy my mind whilst I'm getting from A to B since my mind always tends to wander where I would rather it didn't. This is where Audible comes in. Music does an okay job at making my commute more bearable, but once you know a song well you don't really need to focus on the lyrics at all and your mind is free to wander. Listening to Audible means that I have something to focus my mind on which is engaging, new and interesting. I find myself on autopilot, getting myself to where I need to be, while completely engaged in what I'm listening to. Often I reach my location marvelling at how quickly the journey has passed.


What

In my unsuccessful stints of using Audible, I was listening to mostly fiction. Don't get me wrong, I love a good fantasy novel, but I was getting lost in complex plots and found that unless I was completely focused on the audio, I would soon get frustrated and give up on the book. I have found that listening to self-help books, personal development books and autobiographies has worked so much better for me. I feel like I'm learning something every time I commute and I find I can dip in and out of these books much easier than high-concept fantasy novels. I love that it brings an element of learning to my day no matter whether it's a university day or not, and after listening to a personal development book I often reach my destination feeling motivated and ready to work towards my goals.

Faves on Audible: Atomic Habits by James Clear & Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig.

Why

So why was I so hell-bent on finding a way to use Audible that works super well for me? Well, I have always been an avid reader but I have been finding it harder and harder to find the time or the energy to just pick up a book and start reading. I have so many unfinished books and even several books on my shelf that I have failed to pick up since purchasing them. I've missed getting stuck into a book, progressing through the chapters and hanging onto every word and I wanted a way to get all of this and fit it easily into my everyday routine. The time I was spending getting from A to B every day felt like time that could be better spent or optimised and realising this made it click in my head that this could be my new reading time. Using Audible means that I can get my reading in every single day whether I have time to sit down with a book or not.Do you listen to audiobooks? When do you fit in time to read?



Photo by Konstantin Dyadyun on Unsplash

A mindset I have fallen into as of late is the idea of the 'hustle'. This is the idea that you have to not only work hard to achieve your goals, but to work constantly on 15,000 projects and side projects in order to be successful and that the quantity of what you can accomplish will show everyone how on top of things you are (or how employable you are in my pre-graduation case). Hustle culture prioritises long hours of work instead of shorter, more focussed hours. According to an article on the Forbes website, 12 to 15 hour work days are being seen as a badge of honour and lots of companies are perpetuating the ideals of this mentality. I've even seen it in job descriptions on my job hunt, especially in companies in which you can earn commission on top of your salary. "Be prepared to not leave the office until you've completed every single one of your goals, even if that means staying for several hours after the working day is done".

Going to the GP

Why did I go on sertraline in the first place? To put it bluntly, I had a breakdown which had been a long time coming and at the lowest point, I really scared myself. I was at the worst point I had been at in as long as I can remember and I was scared that if I didn't talk to a GP then I would end up in an even worse state. My mood was incredibly low, I was anxious all the time and I was overthinking and second guessing everything. I experienced a lot of intrusive thoughts about the people around me and how they felt about me, which led me to push almost everyone away. My self esteem was in the garbage and I felt scared that things would never improve. I had a very teary phone conversation with my GP first thing next morning and he managed to have an appointment for me by the next hour, so I was able to go in on the same day and didn't have to wait. We talked through everything that I was feeling and how hopeless I felt, since I had tried different routes of counselling and was scared to take medication. However, I agreed that meds were at least worth a shot so I was prescribed 50mg of sertraline and told to get back in contact with my counsellor.

Starting sertraline

When the GP tells you that the first few weeks are the worst, they are totally right. I was no more depressed than before, but I was struggling a lot with anxiety. I would have random anxiety attacks in work and have to sit in the back room to recover for a while. I was also incredibly drowsy which led me into trouble when trying to concentrate on my work. The strangest side effect that I experienced, however, was a total lack of appetite for the first couple of weeks. I eat all day every day and for me to not be hungry is absolutely unheard of. However, when I started sertraline I would forget to eat a lot because I just didn't feel hungry! Acid reflux due to the combination of sertraline and my excessive coffee habits was also annoying but I discovered the beautiful curative powers of Gaviscon and it helped a lot!

It wasn't all bad though! My sleep improved dramatically! Because I was drowsy, I would sleep earlier and wake up earlier. I missed fewer classes because I wasn't sleeping through them, and I wouldn't be up all through the early hours like I used to be. Plus, this first couple of weeks allowed me to focus more on my body, how it was reacting to the medication, and what still needed work.

Settling in

After the initial side effects began to subside, I began to realise that my mood was much more regulated and I felt a lot calmer. I spiralled into overthinking and depression a lot less, and when I did spiral it was a lot less severe. Once this change occurred, I started working more on my personal development and I have been able to balance so many more extra-curricular activities, I started this blog, I did more peer support volunteering, and I even completed an amazing summer internship.

Now

There have been ups and downs. I have gone from 50mg to 100mg and finally to my current dose of 150mg. I have been on 150mg for a long while now and it seems to work best for me. I feel calmer, more confident and a lot happier than I was. There are definitely still hiccups (like right now) and I have had to work hard mentally for where i'm at right now, but the sertraline has helped me to facilitate that work. I wouldn't be where I am if I was just taking the sertraline without working hard on my mental health, it's better to use alongside counselling/therapy. Still not 100% okay, but I've made progress and that's great! Yes, I still miss some lectures because I can't get up in the morning on a bad day, but I have the motivation to catch up on what i've missed rather than just panicking and not doing anything! I also feel a lot more resilient when things go wrong in my social life, whereas I used to immediately shut down at any sign of social problems.

Disclaimer: this is just my experience, people react to sertraline differently and what works for me may work differently for you, I just know that some people wanted to hear my experience and I know that posts like these would have helped me when I started sertraline!

Sometimes the start of a new dating/relationship scenario can be awkward, confusing and nerve wracking when it's someone you have met organically and not through a dating app. Meeting people through dating apps and starting a dating relationship is super easy since it's probably the reason you both started talking in the first place. However, it can make you forget how to deal with fancying people in your real offline life and wanting to get closer to them in a romantic way. It can make you forget that sometimes you have to make the first move and tell someone how you feel face to face. That's always been tough, though. It can be super scary, but that's why i'm here to reassure you and to tell you to just go for it!

Have they indicated that they feel the same way?

Do they go out of their way to see you? Do your hangouts feel more like dates than just friendly meetups? Do you both act all awkward and blushy when you're together (awh)? Do you talk all day everyday, and occasionally in a flirty way? Then, my dude, they may just fancy you too! If you're both as awkward as each other then maybe you're both waiting for the other person to make the first move!

I'm not saying that these are all signs that the person you fancy likes you back, but they sure could be! There are also other signs but I don't have all the knowledge of these things for each of you. I am not an oracle, I just think I know enough to make this post. Acknowledging the signs and thinking over all the times you spend together may help you to build up some of the courage needed to make the first move.

Are you close friends or are you acquaintances? 

If you're close friends already, then you surely won't lose that friendship by telling them you like them in a romantic kinda way. They should respect your honesty and either let you down gently or tell you they've been feeling the same way. You are not going to lose them, I repeat, you are not going to lose them. If it feels awkward for a little while, it will definitely pass and you will get back to the way you are in no time. If, however, they actually tell you that they like you back, you are dating your close friend who you already know you get along with and trust!

If they're an acquaintance, how much have you got to lose if they say no? It will hurt for a little while but that will pass and they will remain an acquaintance. A truly mature grown up person will be flattered by your affections, whether returned or not, and will not run into the distance screaming.

How long have you been crushing?

If it's been a long time and you haven't brought it up with your crush, it will feel good just to say it and get it off your chest. Even if they don't return your feelings, at least you know now. Otherwise you will never know if they feel the same way as you! I went to college with somebody for two years and I had a crush on them the entire time but I was scared to say anything because I thought they didn't return the feelings. We then went our separate ways for university and I didn't see them for nearly two years. When they came to visit me in Manchester, I told them that I had feelings for them for the whole of college and they said that they had felt the same way but were also scared to say anything. It took literal years to tell them I had a crush, by which time we were in completely different places (geographically and mentally) and nothing could come from those feelings. Say something or you may regret keeping your feelings to yourself in the future!

What have you got to lose?

As I have already said, if the person you have feelings for is already a friend, they will not abandon you if you express your feelings to them. It may feel awkward in the short term but at least these things pass. If they do have those feelings for you, you have so much to possibly gain in the future with them! It's the same with someone you know less well. It may feel awkward in the short-term if they reject your advances, but you have so much to gain in the long-term if they return them!

To conclude this ramble...

Go for it!
What have you got to lose? What have you got to gain?
If you still don't feel inspired to ask your crush out, just share this where they may see it, read it, and make the first move instead!

Good luck angels!x


Photo by Ioana Cristiana on Unsplash

I was at an event where I was mixing with a bunch of A Level students and telling them all about uni life and what to expect when a girl approached me looking like she had a pretty serious question to ask me. We sat to the side and I told her to ask me anything, and she told me that she was worried that everyone else around her seemed to know what they wanted to do post-graduation, even though they hadn't even begun their degrees. "Is it bad that I don't know what to do after education? When will I absolutely need to know?" She's not even in uni yet and she's already worried and anxious about finishing her degree. Here's the response I gave her and the advice I want to share on here with you.

It's okay to go into something not knowing the outcome

Taking risks or stepping out of your comfort zone will help you to figure out what you can and can't do well and what you do or don't enjoy. This even applies to choosing a degree subject or a job. It isn't a case of 'choose this and stick with it forever' and you won't know you enjoy it unless you give it a go. Some people around me have switched degrees and others have stuck with theirs. Some people have gone into a job thinking they would hate it and ended up loving it, others have had the opposite happen to them. A lot of what we do is trial and error, and you won't know whether something works for you unless you give it a try.

We all change our minds 

The chances are that a lot of the people around you who are completely certain of what they want to do will end up changing their minds. As a psychology student, I started out wanting to work as a forensic psychologist and now i'm going into marketing as my career of choice. I have a friend who started out wanting to be a clinical psychologist and now she's set to become a teacher. Some people change their minds later in life and leave their long-time career to pursue something new. Nothing is set and nobody's plans are set. The fact that you don't have a plan will change before you know it, and then your new plan can change too.

University will introduce you to new avenues you hadn't even considered before

Don't have a plan now? You probably will have one after some time in university. Try out all sorts of new things in university. It's the best place to do this! Join societies, get involved and take up opportunities even if you're unsure of whether they are for you. I decided to volunteer as a Welcome Hero at the start of my second year, which basically meant that throughout freshers' week I accompanied new students on trips around the area, I volunteered at the freshers' fair, and I spent a lot of time standing outside the Students' Union with a big arrow pointing people to events. I loved the buzz of Welcome Week so much that when the opportunity for a summer internship involving preparations for Welcome Week came up, I applied straight away and ended up getting a paid internship for the whole summer working in marketing for Welcome Week, as well as marketing for other aspects of the uni. I loved it so much that i'm now pursuing marketing as a career, something I hadn't even considered before! To cut a long story short, your 'plan' can come at the most unexpected of times, so just take up opportunities where you see them and you never know what might happen!

Sidenote - taking up these opportunities will also look fab on your CV, whatever you decide to do!

Do you have a plan? How has your plan changed?x

What is ghosting?

Ghosting is a term used commonly when you are ignored blatantly through social media by somebody you have previously had a meaningful connection with. If somebody has been ignoring your messages despite being online, that's ghosting. If somebody has suddenly blocked/unfriended/unfollowed you on social media, that's ghosting. This can hurt a lot when it's done by somebody you were previously close to or were seeing romantically.

Dictionary definition: "...the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication."

Urban Dictionary definition: "When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice beforehand. You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public."

No closure

Psychology Today: ""closure is knowing the reason a romantic relationship was terminated and no longer feeling emotional attachment or pain, thereby allowing for the establishment of new and healthy relationships."

Perhaps the worst thing about ghosting is the lack of closure that it generates for a lost connection. You are being ignored and cut off but often you will have no idea why. When we are trying to move on from a lost connection, often the starting point which we need is closure. We need to know why things didn't work out so that we can accept and move on. When someone is ghosting their former partner, they know the reasons why it's not working out in their eyes, and they are using ghosting as a way to move on from the relationship (albeit a shitty way). However, when you are being ghosted despite believing that everything was going great, it is jarring and you are thrust from knowing where you stand in a secure romantic attachment to being completely cut off from the person you were sure you were close to.

Was it something I said?

When we don't have closure as to why a connection failed, often we can look inwards to find the reason why. If you were not aware that things weren't working out, the chances are that you completely and utterly admired the 'ghoster' previous to the ghosting, and you will find it hard to find them at fault for why things didn't work out. All these unanswered questions can lead to self-blaming.

Did I do something wrong?
Did I make them feel like it wasn't working out?
Did I say something to hurt them?
Was I not good enough?

When you have no idea why things didn't work out, it's easier than ever to blame yourself and see the breakup as 'just another personal failure'. If the 'ghoster' had just opened up and explained the reasons why things were not working out, then you wouldn't have to jump to blaming yourself and you could move on knowing why.

Am I annoying/pestering you?

How do you react to being ghosted? Do you also step back and accept that things obviously weren't working out? Or do you do one of the following?

Try to pull closer to the 'ghoster' and compensate for the lack of interaction by messaging/texting more.
Ask 'why', repeatedly.
Ask if all your extra unreplied to messages are annoying.
Apologise profusely about all those messages and chalk it up to having a bad day/PMSing.
All of the above? (Same!)

It's a vicious cycle. It's a combination of being ignored and blaming yourself. You can feel like you are driving them away further by annoying them and bombarding them with messages. Then you blame yourself by feeling like you are annoying them while they ignore the messages more and more and more.

What can we 'ghostees' do differently?

Honestly? Let's call them out on their bullshit. It's okay to still care about them (since the whole no closure thing) but 'ghosters' should know how much their actions hurt and how they are preventing their 'ghostees' from moving on. Too long I have looked back and regretted not telling the people who have ghosted me how much they have hurt me and how much they have knocked my trust in relationships. I am always scared that as soon as I get close to someone, they will suddenly act as though I do not exist. So, I have vowed to call 'ghosters' out on their shit so that they think twice before doing it again to somebody else.

In summary, ghosting is terrible and we shouldn't put up with it as 'just a part of dating life'! Also, we should make a conscious attempt to never ghost any of our partners (it works both ways) and always ensure that we communicate about our issues and about what is not working well in our relationships. We need more openness and to be able to raise issues and concerns without it becoming an argument! Communication is key!

Photo by Renáta-Adrienn on Unsplash

Don't get me wrong, blogging schedules are great if you can definitely stick to one. I have tried many times to keep to a blogging schedule because I know how great and useful they can be. However, life always comes along and suddenly I've missed three posting days and I'm feeling pretty guilty and useless. Part of my issue is the fact that my attention span and motivation levels rise and fall uncontrollably all the time and, while sometimes I am able to get lots of writing done alongside my degree and work, sometimes I have a massive lack of concentration and attention, and I have to channel whatever I can into university. I originally wanted to write this post to justify myself and to explain why occasionally I can go long periods without posting. However, I now have another reason for writing this. I know quite a few people who have felt like they're failing as bloggers because they fail to keep to their schedule. They beat themselves up over it and feel like they're letting their readers down. I wanted to write this because I want to remind them that they shouldn't be beating themselves up over something they can rarely control. If you need a break, you need a break and the chances are that your readers understand this!

Things come up

For many of us, blogging is not a full-time occupation. We work, we study, and we're trying to balance a million different things at once. Often, we have to prioritise work or studies (or just life in general) over our writing, and it sucks but it happens! Not every week is the same and some weeks it's easier to keep a posting schedule than others. I have just happened to find it difficult for many weeks, maybe months. The constant pressure and stress I am putting myself under to constantly think up new content started to sap the enjoyment out of writing for me. I don't write well under pressure and I need time to generate my ideas. I am in my final year of university and I have a lot going on at the moment. I am trying to piece together my dissertation, hand in assignments on time, prepare for exams, volunteer, and apply for graduate schemes and jobs. It's a lot and I am very tired a lot of the time, so I decided to take as much pressure off myself as I possibly can. If I know that I find it very hard to stick to a schedule, the best I can do is post as often as I can and make sure that my content is up to scratch! It makes writing more special and come more naturally this way!

Sometimes you'll reach a block and that's okay

Sometimes ideas just don't come, and that can be frustrating. It's especially frustrating when you're trying to keep to a blogging schedule. Writer's block is one of the banes of my life and it's so hard to get out of sometimes! What won't get you out of your writer's block is forcing yourself to write. What you need to do is to take some time to gather inspiration and do some good brainstorming from this... amongst other things. It's not the end of the world to miss a posting day, honestly! It is better to take the time to write something truly good than to force yourself to write something you don't particularly enjoy writing. It reflects in your work and can seem off kilter or different to the posts you have written in the right frame of mind.

Quality over quantity

When I was keeping a schedule, I was posting three times a week. It worked for a while but as I started to get busier in my degree I began to notice that I was making lower quality posts just so I would keep my schedule going. Now when I post, I know I am putting out carefully put together content which I have put a lot of work into. My posts are longer and better researched. I feel prouder about the posts I am putting out. I would rather post one great post than three rushed ones.

Would I ever go back to keeping a blogging schedule?

I'm not ruling it out. Blogging schedules are not bad, it's just not sustainable for me right now. Maybe when I have more time to dedicate to writing, or if I get to a point in my mental state where I can keep motivated and focused, I will keep a more consistent schedule. The point of this post wasn't to tell you that I think schedules are a bad idea. Quite the opposite: I would love to be able to keep a good schedule! However, what we need to understand is that they are not always sustainable or healthy to keep!

How do you balance your blogging life and other commitments? x

Mental

I've put mental health first in this post because the trials and tribulations of university life can really exacerbate mental health issues and really take a toll on your mental wellbeing! Constant deadlines, exams looming and the idea that you are paying so much for your education adding even more pressure can really get overwhelming! Personally, my preexisting mental health issues became even worse in my second year of university, leading me to seek help and go through counselling and meds.

If you feel your mental wellbeing worsening, your first port of call could be your academic advisor. This is because your mental health can have an effect on your academic work and you may want to let an advisor or tutor know that you are struggling so that they can support you through this and lessen the impact on your studies. Also be sure to check if your university has its own counselling service, as these are often free to access and closely knit to your university. Talking it out to a trained counsellor can really help you to figure out your mental state and help you to choose the steps you should take next. If you feel that you should seek further help, make sure you are signed up to a local GP. They can help you to access additional counselling services and can offer you other treatment options such as medications.

Before it gets to this stage, though, you can do a lot of things to safeguard your mental wellbeing! Self-care is a big one. Take some time to check in with yourself every day, even if just for a little while. Getting a stress breakout? Chill and do a facemask for a bit. Getting tense? Walk it off or learn some yoga in your dorm room with some YouTube tutorials. It's easy to work full-steam ahead around the clock but take some time out each day to make sure your mind is doing good.

Sleep well, even when you have a deadline coming up. It's easy to leave your work until the last minute and pull an all-nighter to get it done. We've all been there. However, try hard to keep a constant sleep pattern and get those precious hours in! If you have a deadline coming up, work on it a bit at a time so that you don't end up having to try and get it all done at once. Your grades will probably thank you for it, as well as those bags under your eyes!

Physical

You don't have to be a total gym bunny to stay physically healthy in university! There are so many ways for you to keep your body happy and healthy! One way to keep active is just to walk or cycle to and from uni. Lots of people who live off campus pick up a student bus pass and while they are a fab idea, they are so easy to become reliant on. I have a bus pass too but I choose to walk to and from uni each day and keep my bus pass use for work at the weekends and any trips all the way into the city centre. Just walking every day has made such a difference to my body. I'm not the healthiest bean and I still have a soft tummy, but my legs are solid! I don't get out of breath when exercising as much as I used to and I reckon this is because I do a little every day!

If you love a good workout, it can be hard at university. Gym memberships are expensive and you may be budgeting for essentials like food and toiletries over this other expense. However, home workouts can be a pretty good substitute! While you aren't getting to use gym equipment and you may not have as much open space to work in as you may be used to, it can take minimal space to do something like pilates or yoga. As long as you are able to roll out a yoga mat you should be good to go! Another way to get those workouts in is to see if your university run fitness classes at a nice cheap student price. I have been able to try out workouts I had never even heard of, such as Bosu, by signing up for these classes and they can be great fun!

While being a student, takeaways and unhealthy foods can be a massive temptation! However, they can also be a massive drain on that bank account and can have an effect on your physical health. When I was going through a really rough time last year, I lived off of cheap takeaway pizza and this left me feeling sluggish and bloated all the time. My skin got worse and my self-esteem plummetted! I had to wean myself off these meals and found enjoyment in cooking once more. One easy way to keep healthy when eating at uni is meal prepping! I make a fantastic veggie curry and I would cook this in bulk and keep my leftovers in tupperware. I also did this for other dishes and it means that even when you have a hard day and you really don't have the energy to cook, you have a homemade meal ready for you in the fridge! They can also be great lunch options to take into uni with you if you have microwaves on campus.

Emotional

Support networks are key in university! Making all those new friends and starting fresh is daunting in the beginning, but everyone is in the same boat and it is so easy to meet people in university! Even as a massive introvert like me! Setting up your support network in uni can really help you to get through those tough emotional times that may come up. It doesn't even need to be a massive network of friends. Just those few people who just get you and who you know can support you without judgement (with you also being there in this way for them).

Keep in contact with your friends and family back home if you have moved away for university. They're only a text or a phone call away and they can offer excellent advice in situations involving your friends from uni since they aren't caught up in the drama and can offer impartial advice from an outside perspective. I call a member of my family at least once a day. That way, I keep updated with their goings on and can take a break from my hectic life at uni!

Do you have any additional advice which I haven't mentioned? I would love to know!x

I had a health kick at the beginning of the summer. I dropped a dress size and felt fab about it. However, as I usually am with these things, I couldn't keep it up and felt myself slipping back into my old ways. I didn't attend the end of my cycle of fitness classes and I stopped the daily workouts. I burned myself out and had lost myself in this strict regime of workouts and dieting. It was all I thought about and I was obsessed with the idea that I could drop a few more pounds, drop another dress size, finally feel attractive to potential partners out there in the world of dating. I wasn't doing it for me, I was doing it because I didn't feel worthy as myself and I felt I had to change in order for people to respect me. Not just romantic partners, but family, friends and anyone who passed by me.

Once I let part of the health kick slip, it all slowly unravelled and I returned back to my old ways, albeit with a new love for blueberries (I cannot get enough). Thanks to my lovely body, the weight came back very quickly and I returned to the body shape I have been for years. However, I wasn't upset this time. I haven't been looking at myself in the mirror ashamed as I usually do. I just feel very neutral about the whole thing. If anything, gaining the weight back hasn't really affected how I perceive my body image, which is something so baffling to me, as someone who has struggled with their body image for years.
What has changed? I've been asking myself this for the last few weeks. Maybe it's the fact that I have started to transition into my autumnal wardrobe and wear all my favourite clothes again. Maybe it's the fact that I have surrounded myself with people who do nothing but lift me up and make me feel secure and happy. Maybe it's the fact that I have more important things to worry about now, as opposed to having time to fixate on my shape and size. Maybe it's that caring so much about something I find very difficult to change is exhausting and I want to focus my attention on things that matter more to me.

In the last few months, I have found out that I have PCOS. It has shown me why I have such a struggle losing weight and this has lessened my guilt about my own body. It's not just my fault. Why should I fight against my body time and time again when the second I stop, everything returns back to the way it was and I ultimately end up sad and upset about my own body. I am not seriously overweight. I don't own a car so I walk absolutely everywhere (I walk so much). I eat fairly well and I have a job which keeps me walking and on my feet. Yes, I could be healthier and I could kick some habits which are really not that great. However, my body is not my enemy and I would much rather feel at home in my own skin than fight against it.


There will always be days that I wish my body wouldn't look like this. There will be days when I would rather tear my body down than feel at home within it. However, I am working towards feeling better in my own skin and I feel this is more important than constantly critiquing it.

September is PCOS awareness month. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a common condition which affects ovarian functioning. The main features are irregular periods, excess androgen and polycystic ovaries. Symptoms include irregular periods, lack of periods, fertility issues, excessive hair growth, thinning hair of the head, weight gain and oily skin/acne. If you feel that you are experiencing these symptoms, you can read more about them HERE. I have asked two different doctors about my symptoms and only one of them actually moved along to the process of diagnosis, so ask questions and make sure your symptoms are taken seriously. Diagnosis of PCOS is often quick and simple and involves an ultrasound in order to take a look at your ovaries. If you have any questions about PCOS at all, feel free to get in contact! 

Photo by Gades Photography on Unsplash

Starting university stirs up a LOT of feelings. It's exciting, it's terrifying, it's stressful and it's fun! It can be so overwhelming but also incredibly freeing to experience all of these emotions at once! After all, it's a massive step in your life and your journey! There are a few things I wish I had been told about before stepping into freshers week and here is all the wisdom I can offer to you as someone going into their final year of university!

Freshers' flu is real

You may have heard the term being thrown about but this is serious business! You will spend a lot of freshers week surrounded by people you have never met before and meeting as many people as you possibly can (unless you're an absolute introvert like me). It's only logical that being surrounded by so many people is a test of the immune system! Even if you don't go out during freshers, people will be coughing and sneezing in the lecture theatres during the first few weeks and it is likely that you will get a bit ill. Personally, freshers' flu crept up on me just when I thought I had avoided it completely and it was the WORST! Be prepared and get your survival kit ready! Here's what got me through that tough week:

• A Netflix subscription
• Cold & Flu tablets
• Strawberry Strepsils
• Cold washcloths
• Lots of water and squash
• A cosy bed (seriously, get those throw blankets on and sleep it off)