- Lessons Learned is a new series of chatty blog posts where I talk about all the lessons I have learned in adulthood so far which I wish I had learned earlier -

Man, do you know what? I've gone from rarely allowing a picture of myself to be taken to using the camera timer to take loads of pictures of myself or spending a full day with Chloe (My Second Attempt) walking around Manchester and taking pics of ourselves. I wouldn't say that this change was completely organic, it was mostly because I wanted to post more fashion-based content on my Instagram and blog, but it's been an unexpectedly healthy change for me! Seeing images of myself online (eg. when a family member catches you unawares and you end up getting notified by Facebook that you've been tagged in a hideous image) used to be my worst nightmare. I didn't want people to see my body, the weird way I stand, my nose and generally my self. However, when you're taking pictures with a purpose and you get to pose a few different ways, have fun with the process of taking the pictures, and then muddle them into your Insta feed, it becomes more of a fun and creative process rather than a horrible 'oh god untag me' kind of experience. It still doesn't quite come naturally to me to take lots of pics of myself but I have a little strategy to deal with the body-image based nerves.


Focus on the outfit, not the body

When getting ready to take blog pictures, thinking about what outfit to showcase (or alternatively what makeup to wear) is the first priority. In recent years I've changed my thinking from 'dress for your size' to 'wear what looks good as an outfit' which has helped my confidence quite a bit. When I had the 'dress for your size' ethos, I would cover myself in baggy clothes which swamped my figure and ended up making me look unshapely and left me feeling massive. I still love baggy pieces, but I wear them with better-fitting pieces so that I'm at least showing some of my actual body shape. When I focus more on the clothes and the outfit itself, rather than the body I'm dressing, it gets me excited to put the outfit together and share it.


Focus on the picture, not the body

When in front of the camera it's super easy to want to find ways to hide your body and your figure, so I have decided to push thoughts of my body to the back of my mind (when I can) and to think of ways I can pose to make the picture or clothes look better. For example, taking photos from a low angle wouldn't be the most flattering, but the picture itself would look nice with the blue sky in the background. If I'm wearing funky sleeves, I think of ways I can show them off. If I find a mural, I find a way that I can interact with it in the picture. Thoughts like this pull my focus away from my body while I take the pictures.



Oh wait, that looks good 

Going through a load of pictures of yourself can get very mundane and I end up deleting the majority of the pictures I take or are taken of me. However, those that make the cut have passed my tremendous scrutiny, they're decent pictures. They show the outfit well enough, the pose worked, the lighting is decent. It's a good photo. Liking a picture of myself is a good feeling, and I feel like we all need a few good pictures of ourselves. Plus it's nice to have a new profile pic or a new picture for the grid on Instagram!


Oh wait, my body looks good

The more I look at the nicer pictures of myself, the more I look at the way my body looks and the things I used to hate about myself I've learned to start to love. Seeing pictures in clothes that hug my curves reinforces the fact that a lot of the time (when I'm not having issues with my body-image) my curves make me feel good. I feel soft and kind of cute. Learning to enjoy pictures of myself has helped me in my attempts to learn to love my kind of plus-size body, the tummy that won't go away no matter how much I diet, the nose I used to be teased for, the large thighs, and the bum that I used to think was just too massive.

A mindset I have fallen into as of late is the idea of the 'hustle'. This is the idea that you have to not only work hard to achieve your goals, but to work constantly on 15,000 projects and side projects in order to be successful and that the quantity of what you can accomplish will show everyone how on top of things you are (or how employable you are in my pre-graduation case). Hustle culture prioritises long hours of work instead of shorter, more focussed hours. According to an article on the Forbes website, 12 to 15 hour work days are being seen as a badge of honour and lots of companies are perpetuating the ideals of this mentality. I've even seen it in job descriptions on my job hunt, especially in companies in which you can earn commission on top of your salary. "Be prepared to not leave the office until you've completed every single one of your goals, even if that means staying for several hours after the working day is done".

I thought I would chat for a while on here about polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and the process I had to go through to get diagnosed. It is still something that irritates me and something I felt that needed to be shared. You should always have your concerns taken seriously since you are the best person to spot differences or irregularities in your body!

Symptoms I have experienced

Ever since I had my first period, I have had symptoms of PCOS which I either overlooked or believed were completely normal. Most of them can be completely normal, but the extent of them and the amount of them were an indication of PCOS and my hormone imbalances.

Heavy and irregular periods
Am I comfortable talking about this on here? Totally. I used to be so ashamed of my periods and experienced a lot of anxiety surrounding them. Even when they have been regular, my periods have always been pretty intense. The amount of blood leaving my body every month was alarming and I was having to literally go to the bathroom hourly to change my super tampon (something I wasn't yet comfortable with having to do in the school/college bathrooms). The cramps were also a force to be reckoned with. I would double over, clutch my abdomen, squirm around in my seat and pop painkillers like they were sweets. I figured they were normal since we were warned that everyone has cramps in sex ed, but what I didn't know was that everyone experiences these things very differently. My period irregularities come and go, which is irregular in itself, but there have been many times where I have been getting my periods every other week which I hope never happens again but know it probably will.

Hair, hair and more hair
Oh dear, this has also been a big thing that I've had to work on in terms of confidence and anxiety. I remember a time in primary school where I was told that my super hairy legs were gross and that I had a moustache growing on my face. I was horrified and immediately went to the bathroom to cry. A moustache? No way! My peach fuzz is pretty thick. My upper lip can get pretty hairy. I get thick hairs on my chin. My body hair can grow very thick. It took me a long while to dispel the myths about women shaving their face, but I do in fact shave my face now. It's not completely necessary and I don't feel like I need to shave it all the time, but it does boost my confidence and it makes my skin feel super soft which is a massive bonus. However, the hair on my head tends to act the opposite. It's constantly shedding and I definitely feel that it's so much thinner than it used to be. When I vacuum my carpet I'm shook by the amount of hair that's fallen out of my head and my hairbrush gets full of hair so quickly. It's a bit grim but not the end of the world.

Skin probs
Most people get oily skin and spots. My skin is very very oily and although I have become good at taking care of my skin and managing breakouts, it used to get me down a lot! I also used to get a lot of spots on my back and that meant that I felt very uncomfortable in any shirt that didn't cover my whole back and shoulders. The main thing that still bugs me is how oily my skin is but it's manageable now!

My mind
Depression, anxiety and mood swings have been something which I have been dealing with for years and years and years, and it wasn't until I started talking to my current GP that I realised that these are also associated with PCOS. I bounce from extremely down and depressed to incredibly energetic and upbeat without a moment's notice. Often the depressive episodes can stick and I'll be incredibly down for weeks. I'm working on it!

My weight
My baseline weight has always been pretty heavy. When I'm on the healthiest of kicks I will not lose weight at all and it can get frustrating and upsetting. It's taken me a while but I'm good with my body shape now, but it does still bum me out sometimes. So much of my body fat is on my lower belly and I call it my PCOS pouch, I'm beginning to think it's kinda cute.

Diagnosis attempt #1

When I was in high school, I went to my GP about my period problems. They were so painful that I was finding it hard to attend school and the amount of blood made me incredibly anxious. I was prescribed tranexamic acid and mefenamic acid for my periods and these did help massively, but I wanted to know why my periods were this grim. I did some research and asked my GP about PCOS. He got me to lay on the bench-y thing (you know, the bed thing in a GP office) and pressed around on my tummy before telling me he didn't feel any cysts so I didn't have PCOS. I kind of accepted this at the time but that was actually bullshit and you cannot feel anything to do with PCOS just from pressing on your tummy.

Diagnosis attempt #2

I was already regularly seeing my current GP due to my mental health when my periods started to come every other week. It was grim and I felt like they were getting worse and worse. I brought it up to my GP and I also mentioned the thoughts I had about PCOS in the past. He told me that my past GP was wrong about claiming how to diagnose PCOS and he got me booked in for an ultrasound and a blood test. I didn't know what to expect when going in for the ultrasound but it was pretty uncomfortable. I was told to go with a full bladder so I was bursting for the loo while the ultrasound thingy was being prodded onto my abdomen. My tummy also made some funky noises in the silent room and I wanted to get out asap. According to the blood test, my hormones are a bit muddled (including high testosterone) and the ultrasound confirmed that I have PCOS.

Well, the more you know...

I wasn't surprised to be told I have PCOS so it didn't affect me as much as it maybe could have. It made a lot of sense to me and it was quite comforting to know that my suspicions over the years were right and I wasn't just overthinking my symptoms. It's good to know that when a symptom is acting up I can say why it's happening and what's causing the trouble. I switched my birth control to a combined pill which help to regulate my periods and some of the hormonal stuff and I began to treat myself less harshly about my weight and mood swings. It's led to a lot of acceptance for me. A year on and I feel better and more accepting in myself than ever.

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a common condition which affects ovarian functioning. The main features are irregular periods, excess androgen and polycystic ovaries. Symptoms include irregular periods, lack of periods, fertility issues, excessive hair growth, thinning hair of the head, weight gain and oily skin/acne. If you feel that you are experiencing these symptoms, you can read more about them HERE. I have asked two different doctors about my symptoms and only one of them actually moved along to the process of diagnosis, so ask questions and make sure your symptoms are taken seriously. Diagnosis of PCOS is often quick and simple and involves an ultrasound in order to take a look at your ovaries. If you have any questions about PCOS at all, feel free to get in contact! 

Sometimes the start of a new dating/relationship scenario can be awkward, confusing and nerve wracking when it's someone you have met organically and not through a dating app. Meeting people through dating apps and starting a dating relationship is super easy since it's probably the reason you both started talking in the first place. However, it can make you forget how to deal with fancying people in your real offline life and wanting to get closer to them in a romantic way. It can make you forget that sometimes you have to make the first move and tell someone how you feel face to face. That's always been tough, though. It can be super scary, but that's why i'm here to reassure you and to tell you to just go for it!

Have they indicated that they feel the same way?

Do they go out of their way to see you? Do your hangouts feel more like dates than just friendly meetups? Do you both act all awkward and blushy when you're together (awh)? Do you talk all day everyday, and occasionally in a flirty way? Then, my dude, they may just fancy you too! If you're both as awkward as each other then maybe you're both waiting for the other person to make the first move!

I'm not saying that these are all signs that the person you fancy likes you back, but they sure could be! There are also other signs but I don't have all the knowledge of these things for each of you. I am not an oracle, I just think I know enough to make this post. Acknowledging the signs and thinking over all the times you spend together may help you to build up some of the courage needed to make the first move.

Are you close friends or are you acquaintances? 

If you're close friends already, then you surely won't lose that friendship by telling them you like them in a romantic kinda way. They should respect your honesty and either let you down gently or tell you they've been feeling the same way. You are not going to lose them, I repeat, you are not going to lose them. If it feels awkward for a little while, it will definitely pass and you will get back to the way you are in no time. If, however, they actually tell you that they like you back, you are dating your close friend who you already know you get along with and trust!

If they're an acquaintance, how much have you got to lose if they say no? It will hurt for a little while but that will pass and they will remain an acquaintance. A truly mature grown up person will be flattered by your affections, whether returned or not, and will not run into the distance screaming.

How long have you been crushing?

If it's been a long time and you haven't brought it up with your crush, it will feel good just to say it and get it off your chest. Even if they don't return your feelings, at least you know now. Otherwise you will never know if they feel the same way as you! I went to college with somebody for two years and I had a crush on them the entire time but I was scared to say anything because I thought they didn't return the feelings. We then went our separate ways for university and I didn't see them for nearly two years. When they came to visit me in Manchester, I told them that I had feelings for them for the whole of college and they said that they had felt the same way but were also scared to say anything. It took literal years to tell them I had a crush, by which time we were in completely different places (geographically and mentally) and nothing could come from those feelings. Say something or you may regret keeping your feelings to yourself in the future!

What have you got to lose?

As I have already said, if the person you have feelings for is already a friend, they will not abandon you if you express your feelings to them. It may feel awkward in the short term but at least these things pass. If they do have those feelings for you, you have so much to possibly gain in the future with them! It's the same with someone you know less well. It may feel awkward in the short-term if they reject your advances, but you have so much to gain in the long-term if they return them!

To conclude this ramble...

Go for it!
What have you got to lose? What have you got to gain?
If you still don't feel inspired to ask your crush out, just share this where they may see it, read it, and make the first move instead!

Good luck angels!x


Photo by Ioana Cristiana on Unsplash

What is ghosting?

Ghosting is a term used commonly when you are ignored blatantly through social media by somebody you have previously had a meaningful connection with. If somebody has been ignoring your messages despite being online, that's ghosting. If somebody has suddenly blocked/unfriended/unfollowed you on social media, that's ghosting. This can hurt a lot when it's done by somebody you were previously close to or were seeing romantically.

Dictionary definition: "...the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication."

Urban Dictionary definition: "When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice beforehand. You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public."

No closure

Psychology Today: ""closure is knowing the reason a romantic relationship was terminated and no longer feeling emotional attachment or pain, thereby allowing for the establishment of new and healthy relationships."

Perhaps the worst thing about ghosting is the lack of closure that it generates for a lost connection. You are being ignored and cut off but often you will have no idea why. When we are trying to move on from a lost connection, often the starting point which we need is closure. We need to know why things didn't work out so that we can accept and move on. When someone is ghosting their former partner, they know the reasons why it's not working out in their eyes, and they are using ghosting as a way to move on from the relationship (albeit a shitty way). However, when you are being ghosted despite believing that everything was going great, it is jarring and you are thrust from knowing where you stand in a secure romantic attachment to being completely cut off from the person you were sure you were close to.

Was it something I said?

When we don't have closure as to why a connection failed, often we can look inwards to find the reason why. If you were not aware that things weren't working out, the chances are that you completely and utterly admired the 'ghoster' previous to the ghosting, and you will find it hard to find them at fault for why things didn't work out. All these unanswered questions can lead to self-blaming.

Did I do something wrong?
Did I make them feel like it wasn't working out?
Did I say something to hurt them?
Was I not good enough?

When you have no idea why things didn't work out, it's easier than ever to blame yourself and see the breakup as 'just another personal failure'. If the 'ghoster' had just opened up and explained the reasons why things were not working out, then you wouldn't have to jump to blaming yourself and you could move on knowing why.

Am I annoying/pestering you?

How do you react to being ghosted? Do you also step back and accept that things obviously weren't working out? Or do you do one of the following?

Try to pull closer to the 'ghoster' and compensate for the lack of interaction by messaging/texting more.
Ask 'why', repeatedly.
Ask if all your extra unreplied to messages are annoying.
Apologise profusely about all those messages and chalk it up to having a bad day/PMSing.
All of the above? (Same!)

It's a vicious cycle. It's a combination of being ignored and blaming yourself. You can feel like you are driving them away further by annoying them and bombarding them with messages. Then you blame yourself by feeling like you are annoying them while they ignore the messages more and more and more.

What can we 'ghostees' do differently?

Honestly? Let's call them out on their bullshit. It's okay to still care about them (since the whole no closure thing) but 'ghosters' should know how much their actions hurt and how they are preventing their 'ghostees' from moving on. Too long I have looked back and regretted not telling the people who have ghosted me how much they have hurt me and how much they have knocked my trust in relationships. I am always scared that as soon as I get close to someone, they will suddenly act as though I do not exist. So, I have vowed to call 'ghosters' out on their shit so that they think twice before doing it again to somebody else.

In summary, ghosting is terrible and we shouldn't put up with it as 'just a part of dating life'! Also, we should make a conscious attempt to never ghost any of our partners (it works both ways) and always ensure that we communicate about our issues and about what is not working well in our relationships. We need more openness and to be able to raise issues and concerns without it becoming an argument! Communication is key!

I am trying to get healthier and, unlike my previous health kicks, I am doing this gradually and taking smaller and more sustainable steps towards this. I used to go from never working out to attempting to work out every day and by the end of the month I would have fallen off track and given up. Instead of this, I am not trying to work out loads every week, completely change my diet and drop loads of weight immediately. Instead, I am making baby steps and combatting my unhealthy habits one by one.

Food

I am not eating less, I am just substituting certain foods. I have already cut down on most dairy and I am already a vegetarian so I will be carrying on with this. I am going to try to home cook meals more as I tend to be lazy after uni and pick up a meal deal or just eat out! I also want to incorporate more protein into my diet because I haven't really paid attention to my protein intake since going veggie (years ago) and I really should start! I am not going to stop myself from eating unhealthy foods altogether, but I'm going to try to have more balance because I tend to eat a lot of unhealthy foods and don't really pay attention to what I am eating. I am also the biggest stress/boredom eater ever and I'm trying to be more mindful of when I'm about to binge so that I can stop myself or find a healthy alternative.

Exercise

I already walk everywhere since I don't drive. But, I want to do more. I walk out of necessity to university and back every day but I want to do more walking outside of this. I have started to walk to my local parks, and then having a jog around the parks before walking home. This gives me more time outdoors and more me-time. I also joined a gym for the first time in my life and I am loving it! I go whenever I can (so not a massive amount at the moment) and I love how my body feels after a workout!

Sleep

I'm not exactly going to bed early yet, but I'm going to bed earlier that I was. Ish. Okay, I'm working on it! When I don't have friends over, I aim to go to bed before midnight and I actually have a bedtime routine set. I light a bit of lavender incense, I remove my makeup and do my whole skincare routine, then I pop on some relaxing music that reminds me of my hometown and I pretty much drift off to sleep straight away since my days have been busy and I am always tired!

Brain

This one's a bit more difficult than the others but I'm trying my best to improve my mood. By that, I mean to keep it regulated and try to cope with uni better. Firstly, I'm trying to get more consistent with taking my medication for low mood and anxiety. You would think that after a year I would be better at this but you would be wrong! I am keeping track with a lil tickbox at the end of my daily bullet journal page and I've set about 12 reminders on my phone telling me to take my meds, so that should work. I'm also staying single for a while, which should drastically improve my mental health after the past few months! Finally, I'm spending more time with the people closest to me here in Manchester, which has improved my mood so much since I was beginning to feel isolated and lonely!

What small changes are you making to benefit your wellbeing? x

Photo by Renáta-Adrienn on Unsplash

Don't get me wrong, blogging schedules are great if you can definitely stick to one. I have tried many times to keep to a blogging schedule because I know how great and useful they can be. However, life always comes along and suddenly I've missed three posting days and I'm feeling pretty guilty and useless. Part of my issue is the fact that my attention span and motivation levels rise and fall uncontrollably all the time and, while sometimes I am able to get lots of writing done alongside my degree and work, sometimes I have a massive lack of concentration and attention, and I have to channel whatever I can into university. I originally wanted to write this post to justify myself and to explain why occasionally I can go long periods without posting. However, I now have another reason for writing this. I know quite a few people who have felt like they're failing as bloggers because they fail to keep to their schedule. They beat themselves up over it and feel like they're letting their readers down. I wanted to write this because I want to remind them that they shouldn't be beating themselves up over something they can rarely control. If you need a break, you need a break and the chances are that your readers understand this!

Things come up

For many of us, blogging is not a full-time occupation. We work, we study, and we're trying to balance a million different things at once. Often, we have to prioritise work or studies (or just life in general) over our writing, and it sucks but it happens! Not every week is the same and some weeks it's easier to keep a posting schedule than others. I have just happened to find it difficult for many weeks, maybe months. The constant pressure and stress I am putting myself under to constantly think up new content started to sap the enjoyment out of writing for me. I don't write well under pressure and I need time to generate my ideas. I am in my final year of university and I have a lot going on at the moment. I am trying to piece together my dissertation, hand in assignments on time, prepare for exams, volunteer, and apply for graduate schemes and jobs. It's a lot and I am very tired a lot of the time, so I decided to take as much pressure off myself as I possibly can. If I know that I find it very hard to stick to a schedule, the best I can do is post as often as I can and make sure that my content is up to scratch! It makes writing more special and come more naturally this way!

Sometimes you'll reach a block and that's okay

Sometimes ideas just don't come, and that can be frustrating. It's especially frustrating when you're trying to keep to a blogging schedule. Writer's block is one of the banes of my life and it's so hard to get out of sometimes! What won't get you out of your writer's block is forcing yourself to write. What you need to do is to take some time to gather inspiration and do some good brainstorming from this... amongst other things. It's not the end of the world to miss a posting day, honestly! It is better to take the time to write something truly good than to force yourself to write something you don't particularly enjoy writing. It reflects in your work and can seem off kilter or different to the posts you have written in the right frame of mind.

Quality over quantity

When I was keeping a schedule, I was posting three times a week. It worked for a while but as I started to get busier in my degree I began to notice that I was making lower quality posts just so I would keep my schedule going. Now when I post, I know I am putting out carefully put together content which I have put a lot of work into. My posts are longer and better researched. I feel prouder about the posts I am putting out. I would rather post one great post than three rushed ones.

Would I ever go back to keeping a blogging schedule?

I'm not ruling it out. Blogging schedules are not bad, it's just not sustainable for me right now. Maybe when I have more time to dedicate to writing, or if I get to a point in my mental state where I can keep motivated and focused, I will keep a more consistent schedule. The point of this post wasn't to tell you that I think schedules are a bad idea. Quite the opposite: I would love to be able to keep a good schedule! However, what we need to understand is that they are not always sustainable or healthy to keep!

How do you balance your blogging life and other commitments? x

Yes, as in Bridget Jones, iconic character and spinster! My mum calls me Bridget for a large number of reasons, mostly funny ones. Do I like this nickname? Yes, because no matter how awkward or hopeless Bridget Jones can be, she is always endearing and likeable.

My love life

From funny messaging experiences on Tinder to lost romances, my love life has pretty much been all over the place in the past year. This time last year, I had been single pretty much forever and I used to complain about this to my mum almost constantly. "You're such a Bridget, Jess." However, in the past year I have had one relationship and a long string of dating experiences. Some wonderful and some not so much. I have experienced being stood up, being ghosted, and falling for someone who didn't feel the same about me. Pretty up and down if you ask me. It's all a part of life, though!

That one scene where Bridget decides to give up dating and focus on her career

You know the one. Where she throws away her books with titles such as 'What Men Want' and packs her shelf with personal development books. She decides to get fit and get the job she really wants. I read a lot of personal development books and I get into fitness kicks three or four times a year. Also, when she decides to take shots of vodka and listen to Chaka Khan instead of getting upset about a gross cheating guy (eff you Daniel Cleaver), I felt that in my soul.

In love with Colin Firth

I mean, he's just perfect, isn't he? I have a real Mr Darcy complex, I swear!

Awkward and unintentionally funny

Bridget always seems to get herself into the most awkward situations. Those who cringe easily can find the films pretty hard to watch, and would probably find it hard to witness my day-to-day life, to be honest. I embarrass myself pretty much on the daily. Always got funny stories for my pals though! For example, my friend was staying in my room once and as I was falling asleep, I loudly muttered: "I just f*cking love mozzarella". I tend to do that a lot though, talk while I'm half asleep. Once I half woke up crying and saying "please don't send me back to McDonald's". I also fall up the stairs a lot, always have and probably always will. As a child, I constantly had scrapes on my nose from falling up the stairs.


'Bridgets'

Shapewear. I both love it and hate it. My mum and I call shapewear pants 'Bridgets' or 'Bridget Joneses'. If I have a big event or wedding coming up, catch me in the lingerie section of Primark picking some Bridget Joneses!

Well, it is one of my fave films!

Bridget Jones's Diary literally never fails to cheer me up. If I'm ill, I'm putting it on. Going through a breakup? Get it on! Wine drunk? Bridget Jones is being put on! It's just such a fun film and I could watch it a thousand times and still laugh! I can quote it word for word too so if there's ever a Bridget pub quiz, catch me there winning!


While Bridget isn't the nickname my mum calls me most (honeybee is the most frequent and most adorable one), it's one that has stuck for a long time! My mum is honestly my favourite person on this earth and I'm so glad that we have such a laugh together! Bridget Jones is just one film we like to quote and reference in our conversations, but it is definitely the most relatable one!

Which film characters do you relate to the most?x

Autumn is well and truly underway and I am thriving! Not only have I been loving the chilly weather and reason to wrap up warm, but I have also been loving the changing leaves and early evenings! Autumn is truly the best season of the year! Since I'm loving writing these conversational posts lately, I figured I would chat about all the best things about autumn!

Atmosphere and colours

The LEAVES! As soon as the first leaf turns orange I feel so excited and anticipatory about the coming change of seasons! I grew up living near a patch of woods and those autumn walks were everything to me! I love the colours all around during autumn, and the fallen leaves making even the dingiest paths look lovely! The weather may be cold but the colours are warm and inviting! I feel like there is a buzz in the air in Autumn. It's no longer summer and everyone has gone back to their daily grind, not quite tired of it yet! This is especially evident on the campus of my university! Everybody is making the most of being back and settling into another academic year!

Clothes

Autumn is peak fashion time for me! I am at my most stylish and confident at this time of year! The jackets and scarves are layered without being overbearing, and I can hide my bad hair days with a beret or beanie. Life is good. I've been wearing all those autumnal warm colours and loving all the purchases I have made lately, especially from New Look! Photoshoots are also incredibly lovely in autumn since the backdrop of the leaves is always exceedingly beautiful!

 Makeup

The weather is finally chilly enough for me to not feel like I'm going to sweat off all my foundation by midday and I love it! I have never been a lover of wearing foundation. I feel like most foundations make my face even greasier than it always is, and I can just never find a shade that perfectly fits my pale face! However, this month I have started using the new Revolution Conceal and Define Foundation and it has really been a game changer for me! I wear makeup almost every day, I feel super confident and I actually enjoy getting ready in the mornings!

Mental

I've put mental health first in this post because the trials and tribulations of university life can really exacerbate mental health issues and really take a toll on your mental wellbeing! Constant deadlines, exams looming and the idea that you are paying so much for your education adding even more pressure can really get overwhelming! Personally, my preexisting mental health issues became even worse in my second year of university, leading me to seek help and go through counselling and meds.

If you feel your mental wellbeing worsening, your first port of call could be your academic advisor. This is because your mental health can have an effect on your academic work and you may want to let an advisor or tutor know that you are struggling so that they can support you through this and lessen the impact on your studies. Also be sure to check if your university has its own counselling service, as these are often free to access and closely knit to your university. Talking it out to a trained counsellor can really help you to figure out your mental state and help you to choose the steps you should take next. If you feel that you should seek further help, make sure you are signed up to a local GP. They can help you to access additional counselling services and can offer you other treatment options such as medications.

Before it gets to this stage, though, you can do a lot of things to safeguard your mental wellbeing! Self-care is a big one. Take some time to check in with yourself every day, even if just for a little while. Getting a stress breakout? Chill and do a facemask for a bit. Getting tense? Walk it off or learn some yoga in your dorm room with some YouTube tutorials. It's easy to work full-steam ahead around the clock but take some time out each day to make sure your mind is doing good.

Sleep well, even when you have a deadline coming up. It's easy to leave your work until the last minute and pull an all-nighter to get it done. We've all been there. However, try hard to keep a constant sleep pattern and get those precious hours in! If you have a deadline coming up, work on it a bit at a time so that you don't end up having to try and get it all done at once. Your grades will probably thank you for it, as well as those bags under your eyes!

Physical

You don't have to be a total gym bunny to stay physically healthy in university! There are so many ways for you to keep your body happy and healthy! One way to keep active is just to walk or cycle to and from uni. Lots of people who live off campus pick up a student bus pass and while they are a fab idea, they are so easy to become reliant on. I have a bus pass too but I choose to walk to and from uni each day and keep my bus pass use for work at the weekends and any trips all the way into the city centre. Just walking every day has made such a difference to my body. I'm not the healthiest bean and I still have a soft tummy, but my legs are solid! I don't get out of breath when exercising as much as I used to and I reckon this is because I do a little every day!

If you love a good workout, it can be hard at university. Gym memberships are expensive and you may be budgeting for essentials like food and toiletries over this other expense. However, home workouts can be a pretty good substitute! While you aren't getting to use gym equipment and you may not have as much open space to work in as you may be used to, it can take minimal space to do something like pilates or yoga. As long as you are able to roll out a yoga mat you should be good to go! Another way to get those workouts in is to see if your university run fitness classes at a nice cheap student price. I have been able to try out workouts I had never even heard of, such as Bosu, by signing up for these classes and they can be great fun!

While being a student, takeaways and unhealthy foods can be a massive temptation! However, they can also be a massive drain on that bank account and can have an effect on your physical health. When I was going through a really rough time last year, I lived off of cheap takeaway pizza and this left me feeling sluggish and bloated all the time. My skin got worse and my self-esteem plummetted! I had to wean myself off these meals and found enjoyment in cooking once more. One easy way to keep healthy when eating at uni is meal prepping! I make a fantastic veggie curry and I would cook this in bulk and keep my leftovers in tupperware. I also did this for other dishes and it means that even when you have a hard day and you really don't have the energy to cook, you have a homemade meal ready for you in the fridge! They can also be great lunch options to take into uni with you if you have microwaves on campus.

Emotional

Support networks are key in university! Making all those new friends and starting fresh is daunting in the beginning, but everyone is in the same boat and it is so easy to meet people in university! Even as a massive introvert like me! Setting up your support network in uni can really help you to get through those tough emotional times that may come up. It doesn't even need to be a massive network of friends. Just those few people who just get you and who you know can support you without judgement (with you also being there in this way for them).

Keep in contact with your friends and family back home if you have moved away for university. They're only a text or a phone call away and they can offer excellent advice in situations involving your friends from uni since they aren't caught up in the drama and can offer impartial advice from an outside perspective. I call a member of my family at least once a day. That way, I keep updated with their goings on and can take a break from my hectic life at uni!

Do you have any additional advice which I haven't mentioned? I would love to know!x

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Another toolkit?? Yep, here I am to tell you literally all I know about a certain subject. This time it's one of my favourite things on this earth, blogging! I am not the wisest and most experienced blogger, but I do know how to start a blog and to begin to create and promote posts! I'm going to cover four main topics in this post; creation, promotion, inspiration and monetisation.


If you want to get into blogging, I think it's safe to assume that you have an interest in content creation. These are the first steps to take when starting a blog and creating your content.

Blog templates

Whatever site you are using to start your blog (eg. Blogger, Wordpress, Wix) you will need to choose the template or design of your blog. This can be super easy or fairly difficult to set up and you need to go with a theme that suits your skillset! If you are just starting out with blogging or web design for the first time, for example, it may be a better decision to use the templates on offer on your blogging platform. I started out with a super simple Blogger template and it really helped me to just get started and get creating!

If you're not a fan of the templates on offer on your platform, there is plenty of choice out there for templates. If you're willing to invest in a template then PipDig have some gorgeous ones on offer and they're super customisable! I will definitely be investing in one of these when I have the money! I used Way2themes to get my current template for free and I loved how simple it was to switch everything about and customise my blog!

Graphics and Photos

For all of my graphics, I use Canva. This goes for all my post headers, social media graphics and printables! They have templates for just about anything you may need, and a vast many of them are free to use! It's also a lot of fun to create your own templates and the site is super easy to use! Snappa is similar to Canva, but Canva seems to have more free templates and I tend to stick with it! I have also used Piktochart in the past and it is super easy to use with some great template options; especially for infographics!

Some of us are not the best photographers, or may not have the time or ability to take the photos they want for a post. This is where stock photos come in! Since being bombarded with assignments and exams and general life, stock photos have been cropping up on my blog more often. I use Unsplash to find my free stock photos, but there are sites all over the place with loads of stock images. Other great sites for free stock photos include Pexels, Canva Photos and StockSnap.

Writing

You have probably seen the Grammarly adverts all over the internet, but if you haven't downloaded it yet I strongly advise you do. It has proved to be such a useful tool when writing and it picks up more written errors than my usual spell-checker. It makes proofreading extremely quick and simple and is perfect for any written content creators out there!

Sometimes, all you really need is the basics. I always keep a Thesaurus tab open when I'm writing, just in case I'm not loving my word choices.

• #lbloggers - lifestyle blog
• #bbloggers - beauty blog
• #fbloggers - fashion blog
• #mhbloggers - mental health blog

The other foundations are arguably Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest. On Instagram, you can connect with other content creators in a way that lets them immediately see a grid of content. If you have great photo skills, show it off. If you have a knack for creating art or graphics, show it off. Displaying blog-relevant content on Instagram is a great way to attract an audience. Making a Facebook page for your blog is a great way to collect your audience and easily notify them when you release new content. It's a quick and easy way to connect with your audience and drive your blog traffic. It took me a while to get into Pinterest, but it really is a great hub of fellow content creators. You can drive people to your blog with 'rich pins' and you can collect inspiration on your boards.

Google Plus can also really help to drive traffic to your posts! Setting time aside each day to share your posts on Google Plus can really boost your views!

Scheduling Tools

One thing that can really boost your use of social media to the next level is the use of scheduling tools. I tend to use these exclusively for Twitter, as this is the site I tend to focus on most. I have yet to find a scheduling tool I use more than Buffer. It's just so easy! You type your tweet up and add the hashtags you want to use to promote your post. Once you add your blog link, the link is automatically shortened and Buffer picks up the images used in the post so that you can quickly select an image to go with your post before you schedule it! It's really simple to use and I definitely need to use it more!

Other Twitter scheduling tools include:

• Twittimer
• Twuffer
• Postfity
• SproutSocial (paid)